Dave has had his fair share of pain, sorrow and sadness. He made friends but watched with amazement as they slipped away from his life.
All alone yet Dave couldn’t figure it all out.
Why do I have to be all alone? Why don’t I have real friends? Why did Lisa stare at me with such fear? Why did she have to leave me? Dave says to himself.
Dave tries so hard to patch the pieces together. He once helplessly asked in a forum how he could make real and close friends.
I tried everything I know to be the best friend I can be but all my efforts are worthless. I can make friends but none of them ever becomes a close friend. I never have plans and don’t have anyone to go out with. I have tried to enter new places and challenge myself. I have even joined clubs to make friends but I get no where
Relationship with humans can be so tricky, Somehow Dave realized that the path to relationship obsession has its pros and cons.
But wait! isn’t it strange that the affection for friends and loved ones can turn into suffocation.
Why should an obsession in a relationship become so much of an issue? Is being too attached a sin?
Hmmm but why me?
Sadly, Dave sorts his thoughts to the mistakes he had made in his life. He began to unravel the mystery of how he had become clingy, made no friends and was slowly destroying his essence.
The Good news is you can delve into his thoughts. So let unravel the mystery of Dave’s Dilemma.
Dave sees that he found it hard to trust people in his life; even he didn’t trust himself. Dave never trusted his friends and did not hide the fact from them. There was always signs everywhere that people should not be trusted.
Dave remembers Eve with her innocent eyes, looking at him hurt, as he rattled on about why he could not trust her. The other day, Dave had seen her with a guy; they seemed to be smiling at each other! what was she doing with him? Dave’s heart was pricked with pain. Now he could never trust her again.
Dave shrugs as he imagines how he kept stalking Kathy; making sure that she was never with someone else till Kathy took the last straw when she caught him in a Girl’s night out. It was over and she didn’t even say good bye
Oh! John has always told him that it was hard to please him. He was just stone cold. John was right. Dave wishes he had dealt with his trust issues
Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships. Stephen Covey
Trust is the key to relationship; it’s the key to happiness and long time friendship. Learn to trust others
There are people in this world that are born to be great. Some people are destined to be champions while others are destined to be spectators and Dave knew that he was of the latter.
Dave recalls the fear, the butterflies in his stomach, the thought of being made a laughing stock which is why he never ever wanted to take the lead.
Dave stopped going to a book club because he was told to be the secretary of the group. He feigned sickness when he was appointed to lead a charity project and suddenly fainted when he was asked to give a vote of thanks.
Why should they pick me, I don’t have any talent. They have the nerve..
As if that was not enough, there is this lady that Dave had met the other day. Dave remembers how they couldn’t go further because while making a conversation, he was sweating like a running tap.
What about Tina? Dave could clearly see Tina’s face as she was edgy because he kept stammering. She tried to help and make the conversation so interesting but it did not go well.
Dave tried to find the words but they just weren’t following and the last thing he could say to Tina at the end was “Please don’t leave me”.
Dave still feels the butterflies in his stomach. He wished he had more confidence.
Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. ― August Wilson
Self confidence is necessary if you intend to prosper in this world. Besides, self confidence helps you to overcome insecurity and fear; you don’t need the validation of others to be happy with yourself. Be confident.
Anxiety is Love’s Greatest Killer
If there is one thing that Dave knew bugged him so much, it was that his anxiety level was so high. One moment Dave was happy and ready for the world, the next moment, Dave was moody and pointing fingers.
Dave had to constantly take drugs to reduce his high stress levels but it never did solve the issue and he just quit his medications.
Sadly, Dave’s friends always suffered because of his anxiety. His friends always muttered ” Oh! Dave, What’s your mood now”.
David was the only one who could stand up to his mood. Somehow, David was able to always flow with Dave no matter his mood swings. David was always there to calm his nerves.
But the tolerance level of an individual does have a limit and Dave sighs that he had stretched David’s patience to the extreme. So it was sad to lose David.
Dave realizes that he made it hard for his friends to predict his mood and this made his buddies so unsettled. Eventually no one could keep up with this behaviour.
Dave wished he could change the hand of time, He would have been more flexible and learn to control his emotions.
Learn to relax; don’t be under pressure by things you can’t control. Appreciate what you have and if you can’t relax, seek counsel.
If you don’t think your anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. Learn how to cope, sweet friend. There will always be dark days. Kris Carr
Give People Their Space
Dave is starting to make sense of his plight…… His beginning to see the mystery of his dilemma.
Dave always believed that to be a good friend, you just need to stick around. To be a best friend, you need to be in people’s space. This is how he felt friendship should be and pursued such belief to the extreme.
But Dave felt hurt by Velma’s Remark. She told him that she couldn’t breathe being around him. He was shocked. Isn’t friendship supposed to be about being close?
Melissa had felt so creepy about his constant calls and text messages. At the initial stage of their relationship, she felt that Dave was so sweet and it was awesome to feel wanted
But suddenly, Dave took over her space and this became so frightening that she had to opt out of the relationship.
Soon he noticed with shock that people withdrew from him when he tried to foster friendship.
No matter how hard he tried to make people understand his personality, he was told several times that he was just too Clingy.
Dave utters . I guess people need their space.
You don’t need to suffocate your partner or friend just because you want to share thoughts and feelings. Too much attention can increase negative feelings. It’s best you give them their space so that your relationship can be strong in the long run.
Spend time alone. You need to think about your life once in a while. Thinking about yourself will make you learn about your feelings and make you not totally dependent on others.
Pursue your own interests; there is something that you are born to do. There is something that the universe needs from you. Prioritize your goals so that you can be focus rather than focus too much on your partner.
So Dave fully understands why he does not have friends. In trying to be clingy and needy, he missed the point of being social. He knows that there is so much to be done.
The goods is that Everyday is a new opportunity. He can go back to the drawing board, learn from his mistakes and make a difference.
What do you think happened when Dave turns a new leaf and works toward building a relationship devoid of Clinginess?
What do you think happened when Dave becomes a Light to the World and lights the Dark candles of others?
What do you think would happen if you learned from Dave’s Dilemma and don’t make the same mistakes?