An unfortunate accident just happened in Russia. A young man committed suicide in his home. But what is strange and this baffled the Russian police is that on the day this guy committed suicide, he was not alone. He had an audience who watched him on Skype.
Sergey Kirilov had announced on social media that he wanted to take his life and anybody who wanted to watch should link up on Skype.
Instead of being urged to stop, Sergey was encouraged by an excited crowd. People even mocked him by saying that real men died quicker.
Now this is not the first time you have heard of such event but this behavior does arouse a question. Why do people announce their intention of suicide on Social Media?
What is the thought behind such action.There are a lot of factors that can be attributed to such behavior but all could be tied to one’s sense of identity.
Identity is no new topic; in fact, identity is a topic that is very popular and it’s never going to lose trend for a long time which is why today, I look at 10 things about your sense of identity.
1. Your Identity controls your action.
Our actions are usually based on the way we view things. Our perception of life drives us to make decisions which will define our actions. The funny thing is we all don’t view things the same way whether our views are accurate or not.
2. People derive their Identity from a lot of things
Why is it that most people grave for fame and status?
It is the common belief that fame and status makes you popular. When you become popular, you can also become influential and when you become influential, you gain respect which is why most people want to hang around the celebrities.
People find their sense of identity from a lot of things; some of these things seem natural but others are weird. Here are just a few of things that most people use to boost their identity:
- Knowledge etc
You might think I have gone overboard but you will be surprised by my next point.
3. What gives you Joy and Pain is related to your true sense of Identity
It is strange but undeniably true. Take for instance, a young girl was reported of committing suicide in Taiwan. The reason was because her boyfriend did not show up at her birthday party.
How many times have you had a fight with your neighbor because he stepped on your cute and gorgeous lawn or you felt irritated with your girlfriend because she pronounced your name wrongly.
These scenarios seem simple but there are worse cases where people go on depression for days because they were rejected or abandoned by their partners.
When you look closely at how people’s emotion are ticked, it usually starts with identity.
At this point you might think that such situations are normal but ask yourself; should your Joy and pain be derived from these things?
Don’t let anyone deceive you. I have had experts say that you can find your identity by doing 1,2,3… While others have tried to infuse a character in you that will enable you find your identity.
The truth is that finding your identity is not as easy as you think. The reason is because we live in a world that has developed a system of thought process which guides one into an acceptable way of living.
If you want to find your sense of identity, then you must defile that process and be ready to receive fire from your friends, family and colleagues; be ready to be criticized and oppressed for thinking differently.
Your identity might not even be acceptable to the World’s system.
Most people who discovered their identity were called crazy and the odd ones; they faced opposition and some were extinguished for it.
5. Trying to validate your identity from others will end up destroying your identity.
Have you ever been labelled by your friends and loved ones?
Have you been bullied and you felt like a hole should swallow you up?
You are not alone. The reason you feel this way is that you are always on the journey of self worth evaluation.
What this means is that you need to always feel worthy; you need to always validate your identity which is why the greatest motivation of man is Praise and Appreciation
However, in as much as being praised by your family, friends and loved ones is a good thing, it’s not the best option to find your identity.
The reason is that you stand the chance of being rejected which happens very often and when you face rejection, what then are you going to use to validate our identity.
The best option which is not the easiest is to validate your identity from within.
6. Social Media can affect your sense of identity.
Technology introduced us to a ubiquitous culture of communication where time and space became insignificant.
Smartphones and Social media are the trends for today but do you know how they affect your life. Here is a video by Asap Science of how Social media is changing our brains.
7. The ” Try harder” solution is no guarantee for finding your identity
Do you know that trying as hard as you can to discover your identity will get you no where.
What do I mean? The “Try Harder” solution makes you feel that you are inadequate and tries to make you someone else. It gives you the impression that you can only find your identity if you have certain qualities.
This is the reason why facial surgery is on the rise. Most people don’t believe in themselves and feel they can get their sense of identity if they are someone else.
This can also explain why people work so hard to sustain their identity even when they hide other aspects of their lives. They soon realize the emptiness and pain which occurs as a result of not being themselves.
8. Your identity starts with your brain.
“Your philosophy of life shapes you more than anything else.” —Anthony Robbins
Robbin’s quote is very interesting. Your perception about life does shape you. It is the bases for your decision and action. Everything that is done on the earth starts with what we think about life.
People who changed the world had a sense of identity that they needed to help others.
It is no wonder that criminals have a sense of identity that they have been cheated and need to cheat others. Players who cheat in a relationship have a sense of identity that they are in charge and don’t care about who they hurt or reject.
So ask yourself, What do you think about yourself? What’s your perception about life? Your thought shapes you action.
9. Guilt, Condemnation and Lies are the enemies of Identity
If you ever wanted to make one feel bad or hurt, try making him feel guilty or better still bombard him with destructive criticism and watch his identity plummet in high levels.
Guilt and condemnation are enemies of identity. Unfortunately in our world, it is our greatest weapon in relationships.
Have you observed a conversation of a demanding individual? Strange that they so know how to use guilt and condemnation to get what they want.
TV Commercials use this method in a tactile form. They introduce their products but not without making you feel inadequate, ugly and uncool, then they let you know that their product is all you need to make you a better you.
Another illustration about how lies affect our identity has to do with the belief that more money, to look better, to perform better, to achieve more is what life is all about. This is a false belief that will disrupt your sense of identity without you realizing it.
10. Finding Your Identity is a Choice
If you have read this article to this line, then know that finding your identity is a choice. If you have found your true sense of identity then congratulations as you are one in a million.
If you haven’t found yours, no need to panic. Finding your sense of identity is a journey and not a destination.
What do you think about your sense of identity. Share your thoughts.